Tend To Yourself Thursday {8/22}: Understanding Our Inner Critic
Have you ever struggled with being overly hard on yourself? Perhaps you’ve achieved a goal at work, but instead of celebrating, you focus on what you could have done better. Or maybe you find yourself constantly comparing your life journey to others’, feeling like you’re somehow falling behind. The hardest part is you ruminate on it and can’t let it go. Patterns of harsh self-criticism develop in various ways, such as growing up with a critical parent, were often compared to siblings, experienced trauma, overuse social media, or simply exist in our modern, achievement-oriented culture. Many of us, especially those who are sensitive and driven, grapple with an overactive inner judge.
When we dig deeper, we find our inner critic often comes from a place of protection – it’s trying to shield us from potential hurt or failure. Many people describe “if I judge myself first then it won’t hurt as bad when others do.” But in its overzealousness, it can hold us back from living fully and joyfully. The first step to quieting this voice is becoming aware of it. It’s like turning on a light in a dark room – we can see what we’re dealing with.
This week, I invite you to try a simple exercise: The Inner Critic Journal. For the next seven days, take a few minutes each day to jot down:
- A situation where you noticed self-critical thoughts
- How those thoughts made you feel
- Whether they were helpful or not
At the end of the week, look back at your entries. You might be surprised at the patterns you discover. Perhaps your inner critic is loudest when you’re about to take a risk, or feeling vulnerable, or maybe it has a particular phrase it loves to repeat.
Remember, the goal isn’t to banish your inner critic entirely – it’s a source of self-insight. Instead, we’re aiming to understand it better, so we can respond with compassion rather than identify with it.
As you go through this exercise, be gentle with yourself. No need to add judgment to the judgment. Noticing our inner critic can sometimes be uncomfortable, but it’s a crucial step towards greater self-compassion and inner peace.
If you find this process challenging or want to explore it further, remember that my team and I are here to support you. Sometimes, having a guide can make all the difference as we navigate our inner landscapes.
Until next Thursday, may you treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a dear friend.
Warmly,
Elana