Have you ever found yourself replaying a conversation over and over, analyzing every word, every pause? Wondering if you said too much, too little, or if the other person secretly thinks you’re too much? Overthinking has a way of creeping into our relationships, making us second-guess ourselves and even pull away out of fear of rejection.

It seems like no matter how far on our journey of meditation and healing our minds have a funny way of falling into old traps. This is so normal. Samskaras (mental grooves) run deep and no spiritual or therapeutic practice can make us stop being human. Because our humanness is not a problem to be fixed. 

What’s helped me work with overthinking in relationships is to catch it in the act (and sometimes later). When I notice it, I name it—sometimes out loud—and laugh. Not in a dismissive way, but in a compassionate way. “Oh my funny mind, there you are again, trying to protect me.” Because I know this part of me so well, it’s easy to laugh and let it go. Then, I ask myself: What feels like it’s at stake?

Naming it helps free us from the looping. The question helps us dig a little deeper. It helps us see what’s really driving the overthinking so we can respond to the need underneath. From there, we can respond to the situation more authentically—less from fear, more from truth and flow.

When I’m really stuck, I reach out to a trusted support. Whether it’s my therapist, my mentor, or a friend. This safe, loving person with an outside perspective helps me interrupt the cycle of overthinking and reconnect with the flow of who I truly am.

Who is that person for you? If you’re feeling the pull for more support this year, my team of skilled therapists and I are here. Reach out.