Tend To Yourself Thursday {9/5}: Cultivating Self-Love In A Critical World
In today’s Tend To Yourself Thursday, let’s explore a topic that resonates deeply with many successful and creative souls: self-acceptance and worth.
In our modern culture, it’s easy to fall into patterns of harsh self-judgment and criticism. Many of us, especially those with intuitive and empathic natures, struggle with fully accepting and loving ourselves. But where does this struggle originate?
From a psychodynamic perspective, our capacity for self-love often stems from early experiences. If our caregivers were inconsistent, critical, or unable to meet our emotional needs, we may have internalized the belief that we’re unworthy of love and acceptance. That we must be flawed.
Culturally, we’re bombarded with messages about what we “should” be – more productive, more attractive, more successful. These external pressures can erode our self-acceptance, leaving us feeling perpetually inadequate.
Spiritually, low self-esteem can be seen as a disconnection from our true nature. Many wisdom traditions teach that at our core, we are whole and worthy. Our journey is often about rediscovering this inherent worthiness by healing layers of conditioning, generational trauma, and false beliefs.
Recognizing these influences is the first step towards healing. But how do we actively cultivate self-love?
Here are two powerful practices to support your journey:
- Radical Acceptance: Practice acknowledging your thoughts, feelings, and impulses without judgment. When you notice self-criticism or difficult emotions arising, try saying “okay” or, as meditation teacher Tara Brach suggests, a gentle “yes.” This doesn’t mean you agree with or like everything about yourself, but that you’re creating space to be with all parts of your experience.
- Become Your Own Safe Haven: Many of us didn’t receive the emotional safety and validation we needed growing up. The good news is we can learn to provide this for ourselves. Use mindfulness to safely feel your feelings. When emotions arise, try this:
- Pause and take a deep breath
- Name the emotion: “I’m feeling anxious/sad/angry”
- Locate where you feel it in your body and breathe there
- Offer self-validation and compassion: “It’s okay to feel this way”
The relationship we have with ourselves is like any other – requiring awareness and internal communication. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s okay.
If you’re finding this process challenging, know that you’re not alone. Many of us need support in healing our relationship with ourselves. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore these patterns and develop new, more compassionate ways of relating to yourself.
My team and I are here to support you on this journey. If you’d like to explore this further in a therapeutic setting, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Until next Thursday, may you treat yourself with the kindness and acceptance you so richly deserve.
Warmly,
Elana