Understanding the nature of emotional healing and why growth rarely moves in a straight line.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I thought I already worked through this—why is it coming up again?”, you’re not alone. Whether you’re working through trauma in therapy or working through something on your personal growth journey, the path of emotional healing is rarely neat or predictable. As a California Bay Area therapist, I often find myself reminding clients: Healing is more like an upward spiral rather than a straight line.
True emotional healing is rarely neat and tidy. We all crave predictability and certainty. It’s comforting to imagine that if we work hard, do the “right” things, and show up to therapy, we’ll see progress in a clear, anticipated way. But the reality? Growth can look like it’s all over the chart, but it’s always spiraling upward. You might circle back to the same emotions or patterns, but you meet them with more awareness, new tools, and greater self-compassion each time.
Here’s why:
1. Healing Is a Creative Process
Emotional healing is less like solving an equation and more like making art. It’s iterative, intuitive, and deeply personal. We learn, we unlearn, we try again. The creative process of healing asks for patience, compassion, and the willingness to not just sit with discomfort, but to trust it while transformation unfolds.
2. Old Patterns Surface for Integration
We don’t heal by never revisiting pain—we heal by revisiting it from a new perspective. Like the layers of an onion, when a past issue resurfaces, it doesn’t mean you’ve regressed. It means a new layer that is closer to the core has emerged, giving you the opportunity to meet it from a greater sense of awareness, with more tools and self-compassion than before.
3. The Nervous System Learns Through Repetition
Our bodies and brains are wired for survival. When we’re healing trauma or shifting long-held patterns like people-pleasing or perfectionism, our nervous system needs time and repetition to create new pathways. Slipping into old behaviors isn’t a failure—it’s part of the rewiring process.
4. Real Growth Happens in the Messy Middle
There’s often a “messy middle” between awareness and lasting change. It’s the liminal space where things feel unclear and uncomfortable. But this in-between space is where the most profound shifts occur. It’s where your resilience grows.
5. Healing Invites Us Into Deeper Relationship With Ourselves
When healing takes us on a roller coaster of progress and setbacks, it invites us to turn inward with curiosity rather than judgment. It asks: Can I meet myself with kindness even here? The nonlinear path actually deepens self-trust over time.
So if you’re in the thick of it—if the emotions are messy or you feel like you’re looping through the same lessons—I invite you to trust that the spiral is still rising. You are not back at square one. You’re growing in ways you might not yet be able to see.
Therapy can be a powerful support on this nonlinear journey. If you’re looking for a safe space to explore your process with compassion and depth, my team of clinicians and I are here. Whether through online therapy or in-person sessions in the California Bay Area, we can walk this spiral together.
Warmly,
Elana
