Tend To Yourself Thursday {11/21}: Navigating Triggers With Skill & Grace

Imagine this: your mom or partner just made that comment again. Your chest tightens, heat rises to your face, and you feel trapped in a familiar wave of frustration. You don’t feel like yourself anymore – maybe you shut down, snap back, or get stuck in a loop you then judge yourself for.

Many of us want to be more “unaffected.” Being less affected by triggers doesn’t mean becoming disconnected – it’s about developing a new relationship with our reactions. I like to remind my clients that Zen monks also experience difficult emotions.

When we’re triggered, our nervous system shifts into a protective state – flooding us with stress hormones and reactive patterns before we even have time to think. This is normal, and there is nothing wrong with you.

The key isn’t to eliminate these reactions, but to create space between the trigger and our response. Pause. Slow it down. Take some space. Tend.

Here’s what I invite you to remember:

• However you choose to take care of yourself – the first step is always to acknowledge you’re triggered.
• The goal isn’t to be unaffected – it’s to stay connected to yourself even when feelings arise.
• Notice if you’re judging yourself – this is often enough for people to shift
• Ask yourself what you need to come back into yourself – maybe it’s to call a supportive friend, take your power back by voicing something, ground yourself with breath and movement, or bring yourself into the present by reminding yourself of how old you are.

Working with triggers skillfully is a journey in mindfulness and compassion. For more on this, check out my Mindfulness for Stress and Anxiety course.

Until next Thursday, may you meet your triggers with understanding and grace.

Warmly,
Elana